User Profile

Hi im Jai,

Im a student at university in the UK - but taking some time out due to ill health - hopefully on the mend now... still getting pannic attacks and tiredness tho,
Im turning 21 this month !!!

My average day at the moment consits of reading, watching TV and talking online aswell as walking and trying not to think of chocolate! lol I also really love long baths and cuddles with my boyfriend who is also at my university.... its a shame i have had to take time off to get better - and i have to therefore be a uni for an extra year which really upset me - - but hopefully the medication will work and next year will be pannic attack free so i can start my new course and meet everyone.

I suppose i should be using my time out more wisely by studying but that brings on the pannic cos im obsest with the fact that im not good enough. (Hopefully that will change soon).

With getting ill came weight loss of 20bls and i was 105bls at 5ft5... which makes me a good size, and dont get be wrong iam so glad to be getting better but with that comes the cravings for bad and processed foods like bread and spreads - which has made me gain 4bls...

so i guess im writing this jornal to keep me motivated to stay away from nasty foods and i was sort of hoping there would be someone else who has suffered with the type of depression i have... it would be great to know im not the only one!

Iam not miserable all the time but i was totally stresses at uni and i couldnt think of anything but 'how i wasnt good enough and how my body was damaged' - - i started getting major dizzy spells and got so exausted that i couldnt walk to the end of the road. This was happening for months and the doctors tested my blood and hormones and everything came back normal - their conclusion is depression.... i had no idea depression caused such physical changes... i mean i ve always been a bit crazy : )

So now im on lots of tables for Crohn's disease (a bowl disease, causing pain, bloating and ulsers throught the length of intestine - the worse thing ive ever experienced). And im also on tablets for depression called CITALOPRAM - It would be great to find others that have been throught this so i dont feel as mad - the antidepressants make me feel kinda stoned and tired and blury eyed ... i just hope they work.

Love Jai xxx

Friends (10):

Friend of (21):